Month: October 2017

Is this a new concern all of a sudden?  I have noticed the question of who is responsible for the cost of the bridesmaids’ dresses arising lately.  Wasn’t it always understood that when a bridesmaid accepts the invitation to participate in the bridal party she assumes the responsibility of paying for the dress?  Not only the dress, but she should be pitching in toward the shower and bachelorette party too, right?  That’s how we always did it.

I believe this is becoming a concern to today’s brides because they are now becoming accustomed to paying for more of the wedding as a whole than in past decades.   In the past, the bride’s family was expected to pay for most of the wedding, and the groom’s family would pay for the rehearsal dinner and possibly chip in with the reception in order to expand the guest list.  Today, the average age of a bride is around thirty whereas in the past, a first-time bride was in her early to mid- twenties.   So today, a bride and her husband-to-be are often a little more financially independent in general, which often provides them the opportunity or at least the expectation to pay for more of the wedding themselves.

But, Ladies, I doubt most of you have so much money that you can’t even find enough to spend it on.  The average cost of a wedding (without the added expense of six bridesmaids dresses)  is already more than $30K.  Even if you do your wedding with Music in Motion’s Pop-Up Party Package, you are still looking at $10K.

Let your girls buy their own dresses.   Really, don’t feel obligated to purchase them yourself.  It’s an honor to be a bridesmaid.  Instead, if you are afraid you may discourage one or more of your friends from joining the clan due to the price of the dress, let them choose their own dresses and you pick the color.  This way, they can work with their own budgets.  If you have a bridal party who are mostly struggling to get by, choose black.  Everyone either already owns or can borrow a black formal dress, and black can usually fit into anyone’s wedding color scheme.

The bigger moral of this story: don’t add to the drama of your special day by worrying about accommodating everyone involved.  Would they all do the same for you?

 

If you are choosing to have your wedding in October, it could be nice to incorporate some Halloween elements into your décor.  That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to make the room look like a haunted house; wear a black wedding dress with fake blood on it; and ask your guests to come in costume.   But you can…

Once again, it’s your wedding.  You should do as you please.  Can you believe I have actually witnessed people saying that if one chooses to have a Halloween-themed wedding, she isn’t serious about the wedding or even the marriage?  That is ridiculous.  The same could be said for someone who has a wedding with too many flowers; or spends $10K on her dress; or even has an actual wedding at all.  The wedding isn’t serious, People!  It is a ceremony and a party in celebration of a serious step in life, but it’s NOT the step itself.

I love Halloween, but I wouldn’t choose to do a costume party for my wedding because it’s just not me.   But if you do, my professional opinion is that the guests would have a great time as it’s something different.  I have never seen a wedding guest say that they aren’t having a good time due to the color scheme or décor of someone’s wedding.  And the Halloween-themed ones often get the most compliments because they’re always so unique.  The one thing I do advise though is that if you choose to have a Halloween wedding, decorate as ghoulish as you please; have people come in costume; wear a black dress, but try NOT to have the DJ play too much Halloween music during the dance party.  It’s fine to do one or two songs or maybe just during cocktail or dinner.  However, too much of any genre in general at a wedding (during dancing) is never a good thing.  The average wedding reception only has time for about two hours of dancing, which is only about thirty songs; so don’t plan on making ten of them Halloween-related.

I am putting together a really cute Halloween wedding table.  Stay tuned…

 

I’m not sure I can really provide a fair opinion of whether or not a “Wedding Planner” is necessary or not because I truly don’t know what their actual job description is.   I’ve never known anyone who used one (except on TV).  I believe they are supposed to coordinate a bunch of different vendors and maybe help decorate.  How will you measure their qualifications?  They can get a certificate, but there are some things that just can’t be learned from a book.  I’m obviously not going to say where, but I just saw people posting their aspirations of becoming a Wedding Planner.  Several were saying that they’ve just become a “Wedding Planner,” but they don’t really know what they are supposed to be doing.  I guess they just woke up one day and said, “I like weddings.  I think it would be fun to be plan people’s weddings.”  It’s not like they had to learn a trade or purchase equipment.  Can’t anyone say they’re a Wedding Planner simply by just deciding it one day and making a business card?  Many of these so-called-Wedding Planners also asked the group if they suggest having a questionnaire which the brides can complete prior to their meetings.  That’s just weird to have to ask something like that. This all reminds me of the time when I was a year or two into my business, and all of my friends started asking my opinion on whether or not they should start their own business.   When I asked them what type of business they would like to do, they all admitted they had no idea but just wanted to run a business.  Enough said.  Back to the Wedding Planners: When deciding whether or not to hire a Wedding Planner, ask yourself an important question:  What do you expect this person to do?  Are you hiring them for connections to vendors?  Are you hiring them for their organizational skills?  Are you looking for someone to actually design your wedding?  Are you looking for all of the above, and if so, does this person have all of the above?  How do you know?  I don’t know; I guess you can rely on the recommendation of a trustworthy source.  I can tell you that I’ve been approached by Wedding Planners who have asked me if I would like to be on their referral list.  They don’t even know me or my company.  And the vendors might give them a commission, but they’re not going to give you, the bride, a discount on their services simply for using a wedding planner.  Why would they?  Can you believe that according to the Association of Bridal Consultants, the average cost of a Wedding Planner is $3262?  For that money, they’d better be doing something great because you are now adding that number to the average cost of a wedding, which is currently $35K (It’s not included.).

Let’s talk about the role of the venue now.   Most people opt to simply rely on the Maitre D or Wedding Coordinator at the venue.  That makes sense, but they are only there for the actual day of your wedding.  They are supposed to know the way the formalities run and be able to execute each step properly.  I’m not at liberty to say which ones are which, but some of these venues do it well and many do not.  You would think it would be easy since they do these cookie-cutter weddings all the time.  It’s really not that difficult.  Don’t believe me?  Ask your former-bride friends about their venue experiences.  I bet at least seventy percent say the Maitre D was horrible.  Word to the Wise Bride:  Don’t expect miracles from your venue.  More than half the time that I DJ a wedding, the Maitre D or coordinator is completely lost so I have to run the show.  Remember, this person is simply an employee working his or her eight-hour shift and just wants to go home.

So either I’m contradicting myself here or you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.  You can either spend money on someone who may or may not know what she’s doing or you can simply leave it to the venue whose staff and coordinator may or may not know what they are doing.   Or…

You can call Music in Motion to discuss Creative Events and the Pop-Up Party Package, which not only saves you thousands of dollars but also treats each and every individual wedding as a separate project.  How do you know we are qualified to help plan your wedding?  Well, we do every part of the wedding ourselves with our family members and close friends.  We never hire contractors to do any of the jobs; Michael and I have been DJs for quite some time.  We’ve run many weddings because the venue can’t or won’t.  One time, the Maitre D didn’t even show up.  Also, we’ve run so many events for both our Performance company and Creative Events including but not limited to putting on our own plays.  It’s a lot of work!!  I am not going to lie.  But we only take on the amount of events we can comfortably handle, ie 4.3 Pop-Up Weddings (one per week) or about nine single, double or triple packages such as just DJ or DJ/Photography/Photo Booth, etc.  In addition, the price for you to hire my Team to Pop Up your wedding is $799.  This includes not only the Coordinator who is with you from the day you book throughout your wedding (on and off-site) but also your linens, centerpieces and mood lighting and the Team who puts up your linens!  How?  Keep reading My Blog to find out not only how but why we provide this for you at such a reasonable cost.

I know I sound like a commercial right now, which I don’t mean to do, and I would like to offer you other options to help your wedding go smoothly.  However, it’s difficult to do so when we are the only ones who offer such a service.   I may sound very biased throughout this entire blog, but I am not.  For instance, when I ask someone who calls up looking for a photographer if they need a DJ and they say they want a band, I don’t try to persuade them to have a DJ.  If they want a band, they want a band.  I’m not singing at their wedding.   Keep following My Blog and Facebook Page, and I’m sure I will come up with many helpful tips on ways to make your wedding flow more smoothly even if you can’t hire us.

 

 

 

 

After reading the title of this article, you probably think I am going to describe the usual and begin by compiling a to-do list in order of importance and then expect you to show this article to your fiancé, who will react by saying something like “It’s one day!  Is it really that much work?  Maybe we should just elope.”  Then your mother or mother-in-law-to-be (or both) might say something like “Well, that list is important.  It’s only one day!  It has to be perfect.”  Honestly, I laugh when I read articles that try to advise readers on subjective matters by listing steps in order.  It’s only ONE DAY, and it’s your day.  There are no steps in order of importance.  It’s supposed to be fun; not stressful.  It’s supposed to be about you.  I know everyone says that, but if you think about it, they’re also the same people who show you the articles with the lists.

 

I believe that the planning part of the wedding is not only important but is the most important part of the wedding.  But it’s not because you might mess something up by forgetting something; or ending up with the same colors as your mother’s neighbor’s daughter had at her wedding; or by seating Aunt Alice next to Aunt Martha, her archrival.  Your fiancé and moms are correct in saying that it’s only one day, which actually means planning your wedding is all there is.  So enjoy it; stretch it out as long as you possibly can with a long engagement; get friends, family, and your number one man involved as a way of spending quality time together.  Spend a Sunday afternoon discussing food and cake with Mom; get your best friends together for wine on a Thursday night and look at dresses online; have dinner with your fiancé and discuss your music choices.  And you, yourself, the new bride-to-be aka Queen for a Day, can privately imagine the day you’ve been dreaming about since you were seven years old as it becomes a reality!!!  Yes, this is the time when you can sit back and bask in the idea of your engagement and the events to come.

 

Why does everyone always forget the point of it all?  Leave the stress for the marriage, the jobs, and the bills.  And since I’m being completely honest here, I might as well just admit on behalf of EVERYONE that the wedding really doesn’t have much to do with the marriage.  The color of your bridesmaids’ dresses in no way reflects the love you and your husband-to-be have for each other.  The song for your first dance might, but the fact that the chicken is dry has no bearing on the future of your relationship.  The relationship is not doomed if something goes wrong at the wedding or reception.  There, I said it.  You all thought it though.

 

You want the real to-do list (in order)?  Here it is…

1. Decide what will make you happy. And what will make him happy (if he’s into it). Some guys care and some don’t. It doesn’t matter either way.)
2. Spend time with this vision and savor it. It’s all about fun.  Big wedding receptions are not the law.
3. Choose the most important part for you: The dress?  The music?  The food?  What’s your favorite part?  Mine was the music so I got all the songs and listened to them over and over in the car imagining my husband and best friends dancing to the songs I dedicated to each.  If you like to watch cooking channels, maybe you think the food is the best part.
4. Once you’ve chosen your favorite part, spend time on that. Like I said, go slowly with everything.  Literally stop to smell the roses.  Then actually choose which flowers you want if you want flowers at all.
5. Check to see if you are still making yourself happy. If so, proceed…
6. After an appropriate amount of time has passed and you’ve savored every moment, start making decisions and book. According to most sources, the average couple is engaged for fourteen months, which is appropriate.  You might want to take a little longer.  After spending time envisioning and enjoying the idea of the wedding for at least six or seven months, book the big stuff at least eight months in advance.  This way, after you book the venue and the vendors, you will still have plenty of time to plan the details and continue to enjoy the experience.  It’s also important to realize that venues and vendors book up quickly.  You can’t wait until two or three months before your wedding and expect everyone to be waiting around for you to book.  If you really liked a DJ and a restaurant, the chances of them being available at the same time will be less likely the longer you wait.  And if you wait too long (like some of you have been doing), you may end up with nothing!
7. After you’ve booked the venue/caterer; DJ or band; photographer/photo booth (aka the Main Puzzle Pieces), you can continue to work on the details such as your dress and attire and flowers along with color schemes and décor and music selections (which these Main Puzzle Piece companies will help you with). This means you can wait a little longer to complete your vision because the main areas are taken care of.  You can wait longer for the dress because the dress will always be there.  You can wait on the flowers because the florists can do multiple events per day unlike DJs and Photographers and caterers who only have a certain amount of people working for them, and venues, who only have a few rooms available each day.  Waiting to finalize food and music can wait too because you will need the help of the venue and the DJ.  Catch my drift?

 

Now for the boring logistics: how will everything come together?  This is the part that doesn’t fit with the rest of my advice to relax and enjoy.  Nevertheless, every great artist must have a bookkeeper when she sells her famous paintings (i.e.  You have no choice but to do some actual planning and logistical preparations.)  But remember, if things don’t go perfectly or the way that the moms want it, it’s not the end of the world.  The wedding is for fun anyway.  Get it?  You have to make sure that everything and everyone will arrive at the correct place at the correct time so that your vision becomes reality and all the parts become a whole.

 

Music in Motion and Creative Events is designed to make the logistics easier for you.  We are here to help you plan your special day stress-free and on a budget.  If you think you can’t have a fabulous wedding unless you pay $80K, then there’s probably nothing else this Blog can offer you.  However, if you like the idea of doing your wedding in under $10K with the help of a family who does it all the time, I suggest you join our  Mailing List and follow our Facebook Page for more tips on how to be a bride with less stress and more money in your pocket.  If you don’t hire us for anything, we won’t hold it against you either, but at least you will have heard opinions and ideas from our company and other brides.  In future Blogs and posts, we will be providing you with tips on how to do things more efficiently and cost-effectively; showing ideas on décor, food, and even beverages for your bar; discussing controversies and challenges surrounding you, the bride-to-be, and your wedding; and providing emotional support through the posts and contributions of our company representatives and other brides-to-be and former brides.  Whatever your needs, Music in Motion and Creative Events is here to help share ways for brides of all ages and cultures to plan their hassle-free weddings for way less than the average cost of a today’s wedding.  You can always bounce ideas and questions off of us on Facebook Page.  So don’t stress.  Sit back, relax and enjoy.  OMG!  You’re getting married!!